next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
