She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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