I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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