Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
