about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
