she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
