zippers are such a cool invention
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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