so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
