What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
