I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In America we eat man semen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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