god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
