Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
