i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
