around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
