OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize