Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

im poppin the ladies like they're bacne

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(604): View more from British Columbia

What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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(631): View more from New York

I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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(559): View more from California

I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.

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