FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
