Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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