Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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