Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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