You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
