Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
