Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
