we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
