We named our party play list daddy issues
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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