All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
