so that wasnt chicken after all
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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