In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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