hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
