3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
