Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
