She said her name was "party"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
