you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
