If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
