biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
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