she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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