I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am one with the molecules
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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