Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
