No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize