i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize