I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
