i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
