There was a lot of him and a little penis
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
