he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
