I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
