Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
