i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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