no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
