Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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