Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I met the friendliest cop last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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