Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
