Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Shame is for Republicans.
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