You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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