I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
