The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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