Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize