The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
