the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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