These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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