i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
