I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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